Proving the Power of Family: Stanley & Frederick's Story
Frederick was only 5 years old the last time he'd seen his Uncle Stanley: but 10 years later, when he needed him most, he was there.
When Fred's parents separated, he lost touch with Stanley and the rest of his father's side of the family, spending his childhood in the care of his mother. Through the grapevine, Stanley caught bits of his nephew's life as he grew older-- his success in school, his love of math and science, his kind nature. But he also knew Fred's mother was struggling, living with a mental health condition that was worsening, and beginning to interfere with her ability to provide the right environment for her son.
As Stanley describes it, Fred's mother was loving, attentive, and dedicated to his future-- but it was impossible to give so much of herself while receiving so little of the help she needed. This difficult situation came to a head in 2022 when Stanley received a call from the police station that Fred needed somewhere safe to go.
"It had been so long since I'd seen him, but he was family then, and he's family now," Stanley told us. "He belonged with us."
At 15, with the help of case managers at Association House, Frederick became Stanley's first foster child. In the face of such an unexpected family upheaval, during such a pivotal year in his life, Stanley says he was blown away by his nephew's resilience.
"When you meet him, you can tell the qualities he was raised with," Stanley said. "His values and his heart are just in the right place. We were blessed to have him with us and give him some stability so he didn't lose those things."
In the 4 years that followed, Fred stayed committed to the things he'd loved before coming to stay with his uncle. He followed his interest in STEM and participated in competitive robotics, preserving his passions even as he endured such significant changes at home.
"He's a genius!" Stanley told us. "I love how seriously he takes this stuff."
But keeping his dreams alive took some doing. The schools in Fred's new home district didn't offer the programs and extracurriculars he was looking for, so Association House stepped in to help him commute to the school he'd been attending-- facilitating transit and helping to cover costs through state relief funds available to foster children.
Through this support, Fred didn't need to start over at a new school in addition to all the other changes he was going through. This may seem like an obvious comfort to provide a child in Fred's situation-- but 65% of youth in care are forced to change schools more than 7 times. It's no surprise that foster children's high school graduation rate is 35% lower than the general population.
"He's wise beyond his years," says Elisa, Fred's foster care case manager. "He's only 18 but he comes off so collected and in control. He made what he needed and wanted really clear, and we were able to help him out."
In addition to helping with his school commute, the House's foster care team was able to secure him a tablet computer for school, and for his own personal 3-D modeling designs.
Stanley credits the House's foster care team with removing those extra pressures. "The program at Association House gets two thumbs up from me," he told us. "There can be so many hoops to jump through and I was really impressed with how they made it look easy."
Today, Stanley is proud of the role he played in keeping Fred on the right path. This past August, Frederick began the Mechanical Engineering program at UIC. He's decided to live on campus while he pursues his degree, and Stanley couldn't be happier to see him giving his future his all.
His case worker Elisa was honored to get a 3-D printed gift from Fred on move-in day. "His first case manager used to call him her boy genius," she said. "We all used to watch videos of the robots he built that could climb walls and stuff, we were so impressed." Fred's 3-D creation now lives on Elisa's desk.
“I’m amazed. It’s like, mission accomplished. A kid going through such an event at such a difficult age, there’s no way to avoid some trauma. But he rose to the challenge. He prioritized the right things.”
When we asked Stanley what advice he'd have to someone beginning an unexpected journey of fostering like he did, his answer was simple:
"When he came into our family, we put love into his life— he saw that in the way we cared for him. Welcoming him, teaching him the importance of faith, of family, of love. It shows in what he’s been able to accomplish," he said. "Come into the process with an open mind and open heart. That’s all you can do." ■
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